Gay LA Cliché Bi Day

IT GETS BETTER ~ The Michael Anthony Musical

2010-11-15T10:47:00.001-08:00

One of our FAVORITE in the IT GETS BETTER campaign! Great work, brother!

G@Y S@Y ~ & i'm telling u... i AM going!

2007-12-14T06:42:00.000-08:00

All good things must come to an end, and this gay's blog is no exception. Yes, folks...

GLaC BiD

HaS

GoNe

DoWN!

But never fear; you haven't read the last of MiCHaeL aNTHoNY...

(eW!)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ my hero!

2007-12-12T14:08:00.000-08:00

This guy is my hero!

A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing a liter (two pints) of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new carry-on rules. The incident occurred at the Nuremberg airport on Tuesday, where the 64-year-old man was switching planes on his way home to Dresden from a holiday in Egypt.

Near-fatal alcohol poisoning after one liter? Amateur!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ what's my sign?

2007-12-11T11:19:00.000-08:00

What's my sign, you ask me? MiCHaeL aNTHoNY is a Leo, tried and true. And here's what the heavens are telling me to do today...

You might wake up feeling a little under the weather, perhaps too tired to go anywhere, and you'll want to stay in. Perhaps this is the best course of action for today. Drink lots of juices, and get some rest. Tomorrow you'll probably feel much better!

Uh, aren't horoscopes supposed to inspire and facilitate inner-reflection? Instead, my astro-paragraph is telling me to hunker down, sip my gin and juice and pray for daylight.

Typically, I'm against drinking before sundown (sans happy hour, of course), but... F#ck it! Me and JiMMY BeaN are going back to bed! Don't judge me; it is, after all, written in the stars!

myTunes ~ do I have a problem?

2007-12-11T08:25:00.001-08:00

I spend about 2 hours a day on my iTunes, managing playlists, rating dance remixes and writing artists reviews (that, undoubtedly, no one reads).

Should I be attending a meeting?

myTunes ~ december's best, week 2.0!

2007-12-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

Let's see... aSHLee's back, aNNie's remixed and a few other gays dropped it like it was hot...

Best of December, Week 2!

Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya) ~ Ashlee Simpson
Sing (Moto Blanco Radio Remix) ~ Annie Lennox
Seattle ~ Kevin Aviance
When the Money's Gone (feat. Elton John & Kristine W.) ~ Bruce Roberts
Picture Perfect ~ Nelly Furtado
Fancy ~ Destiny's Child
My Skin ~ Natalie Merchant
Hollywood [JLC's Thin White Duck Mix] ~ Madonna
Loser ~ Saving Jane
Kindly Unspoken ~ Kate Voegele

Enjoy, bois!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ world's 1st crazy!

2007-12-10T09:41:00.000-08:00

JaNiCe DiCK-iN-Me-SoN was just on the Today Show. And boy, I have to say... This man is extremely disappointed!

When she was on set last week, she (within this span of 10 minutes) grabbed my junk (4x's!), showed me her left tit and lifted her dress to show off her pantie-less lady parts. [Shudder!!] This Today interviewed had none of the usual Janice eXXXcellence. She was articulate. She was funny. She was sober. What a bummer...!!

myTunes ~ only in MoNTaNa!

2007-12-10T09:24:00.000-08:00

This is yet another story that makes me embarrassed to be from the boonies of Illinois...

Zeal for superstar Hannah Montana drew scores of admirers — including Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his family — many of whom shelled out hundreds of dollars for tickets to a Rosemont concert. "We're big fans," Blagojevich, who was accompanied by his wife and two daughters, said before Saturday's concert. "I've seen every 'Hannah Montana' episode." The fervor surrounding the Disney Channel superstar was intense and Allstate Arena usher manger Jim Hennessy called it "the hottest ticket in 20 years."

My GoVeNoR spends his time watching a 14-year-old soon-to-hit-the-wall Britney-wannabe try to act like BiLLY RaY MuLLeT ain't no deadbeat stage dad? But he doesn't think it's right for gays to get married. Hmmm...

Oh, Mr. Blagojevich, I only have one thing to say... Watch that 5-year-old son of yours. Any boy that cries for $100 HaNNaH MoNTaNa tickets is a Cher CD and Men's-Fitness-magazine-hid-under-the-bed away from growing into a bonefide Illinois homo!

G@Y S@Y ~ am i job-less?!

2007-12-07T12:44:00.000-08:00

Enough with the corporate b#llsh!t. Am I out of the job?! Can someone please decode this biz-PC press release, and tell me the fate of my future at TV Guide Network.

Video software maker Macrovision (MVSN.O) said on Friday that it would acquire television programming guide company Gemstar-TV Guide (GMST.O) in a cash-and-stock deal worth about $2.8 billion. Gemstar-TV Guide shareholders will be able to sell each of their shares for $6.35 in cash or convert it for 0.2548 of a common share in a new holding company that will own both Gemstar-TV Guide and Macrovision. A restructuring of the TV Guide brand and its subsidiaries is scheduled for April of 2008.

On second thought, I'll be making as much on unemployment as I do now. Plus, I'll have my entire day free to drink at the Abbey, watch People's Court and catch up on my porn. Maybe my impending layoff is a homo-blessing in designer threads disguise....

(uHHH?)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ blackout MiCHaeL!

2007-12-07T12:40:00.000-08:00

As I drug my post-drunk ass into work this morning, there was only one thing on my messy mind: How tragic was I at the company Xmas party last night?

The answer to this queer's query? I cannot tell you, for I remember nothing after 8 PM.

All I know is that 11 people (and counting) have said something in the vain of "With those dance moves, you'd make an amazing stripper!" to me.

Oh, and the company CEO said to me: "Don't worry... That red wine came out of my shirt, no problem."

..........Do I still have a job?

(uHHH?!)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ an employee saved is a penny earned!

2007-12-06T11:33:00.000-08:00

Our company-wide Xmas Party is tonight at some swank-a-fide hot-spot in Hollywood. Cool, ain't it? Uh, it would be if all were invited. But... Nope!

Some CornerOfficer in his high fallutin, high-level executive suite decided that only certain full-time employees get an Evite. And further more, a...

Green invitation means that you are invited but can only go to the cash bar.
Red invitation means that you are invited and have open bar privileges.
Silver invitation means that you and your guest can attend the open bar.
Gold invitation means that, not only can you and your guest guzzle down at the open bar, but you both get an entertainment gift bag on the way out.

In case you're wondering, I got a red invitation. Yep, no guest or giftbag for MiCHaeL aNTHoNY, but I'm not complaining: a free night in Hollywood... With an open bar... And no SnowMan... And the HellyWood GayMafia on my intoxicated arm.

What more could a D-Lister ask for?!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ finally!

2007-12-05T12:04:00.000-08:00

I know that I profess to non-stop LOL as I surf through the CraigsList Missed Connections... But secretly, I always ask myself: Where's mine?! I'm gorgeous too, g*ddamn!t!

Well, ding-ding-freaking-ding! My day of casual stalking via cyberspace has arrived. I now present you with (drum roll, please!)... My missed connection:

that guy working at CELEBRATION THEATRE ~ m4m
2007-12-04 ~ 12:46AM
u were working in the office and gave the speech. u are so adorable and such a great host. i know you know we totally had a connection. u even made my friend jealous with how u kept smiling at me. i'd be honored to take u out for a coffee sometime soon. u seem like a great friend, if not more

See, I am pretty! Some might even go as far as to say... "Adorable!" And hey, a little free coffee never killed anyone, right? Right...?!

myTunes ~ drunk downloader!

2007-12-04T20:20:00.000-08:00

Some fags drunk dial; MiCHaeL aNTHoNY, on the other limp-wristed hand, drunk downloads. Yes, music lovers, I just spent the past vodka-hazed 20 minutes on iTunes, clicking that little BUY SONG button like it was nobody but MR. MoNeYBaG'$ bu$ine$$.

While I now own every aSHLee SiMPSoN / SPiCe GiRLS / PaRiS HiLToN / BRiTNeY / CeLiNe DioN dance mix known to homo-man... My bank account now finds itself $127 lighter.

Damn you, Kettle One! Damn you to JaSoN NeViNS remix hell!

(eWWW!)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ help (un)wanted!

2007-12-04T13:08:00.000-08:00

As y'all know, I love me my CraigsList. It's the truly the creepiest entertainment this side of the information super highway. And I'm not just talking about the sex posts. Sometimes the job postings are just as bad...

Talent Jobs ~ Hollywood
Title: WANTED: Bodybuilder w/ Tattoos to double as Male Gogo Stripper
Ad: This is for an event on Saturday December the 1st from 9pm to 1am. Most of the guests to this event are gay and lesbian so you most be gay or gay friendly. 1 Bodybuilder with tattoos to play the part of an on-stage snuff executioner. Later he will also come back as a gogo dancer/stripper. Must be comfortable with complete nudity for extended periods of time.

The best part? Compensation: Consummate with experience. $12/hr max.

$12 an hour, max. I guess someone's finally put a price on selling your dignity in gay HellyWood!

(uN)aMu$iNG MuSiNG ~ who's stupid now?!

2007-12-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

The New York Daily News just published it's list of the world's 20 dumbest celebrities. The likes of, including, in no specific order...

Lindsay Lohan ~ delinquent behavior and bad taste in men
Kim Kardashian ~ because it is sad when you leak your sex tape and nobody cares
Jessica Simpson ~ 'nuff said
Kiefer Sutherland ~ recurring drunk driver
Courtney Love ~ aging rock chick disaster
J.R. Rotem ~ possible Britney Spears baby daddy
Britney Spears ~ total trainwreck and see above
Brad Womack ~ indecisive Bachelor
Michael Jackson ~ former singer and boy-loving mess

Now, here's my theory on this. They're actors with no theatrical ability. They're tonedeaf popstars. They're writers that, literally, could qualify as mentally retarded. And yet they live in bigger houses, drive better cars, have seen more of the world and make more money that I will ever hope to in my talent-enthused, musically-gifted and overtly-intelligent lifetime.

Ergo, I ask... Who's the stupid ones now?

PS: Hey, New York Daily... Why no PaRiS?! She's using her "talents" to save drunken elephants in India for god F-ing sake!

myTunes ~ this week's best ever!

2007-12-04T08:42:00.000-08:00

Hey, Kiddies and Kiddettes! It's Tuesday AM, and y'all know what that means... MiCHaeL aNTHoNY is hung over again? No! (Well, yes... But that ain't nothing new, right?)

No, today's morning cup of goodness comes with the happy knowledge that your iTunes is all new! But don't waste your time clicking, sampling and 99-cent dropping. Below are, at least in this in-the-know fag's opinion, this week's best...

myTunes ~ Best of December, Week 1

Nothin' Better to Do (Soul Seekerz Radio Edit) ~ LeAnn Rimes
Nothin' Better to Do (Bimbo Jones Radio Edit) ~ LeAnn Rimes
Band of Gold (Almighty Radio Edit) ~ Kimberley Locke
Dark Road ~ Annie Lennox
Now You Tell Me ~ Jordin Sparks
End of the World ~ Blake Lewis
Now Or Never ~ Josh Groban
What Hurts the Most (Yanou's Candlelight Mix) ~ CASCADA
Last Train Home ~ Ryan Star
Chicago ~ Kate Voegele
Writing On The Wall (Alcohol) ~ Saving Jane
Only Fooling Myself ~ Kate Voegele
Summertime ~ Scarlett Johansson
Giving It Up For You ~ Holly Brook
What I Didn't Say ~ Saving Jane

I know LeAnn Rimes' song appears on their twice (at the top, no doubt!), which is something that I rarely do. But all of her remixes on Nothin' rock so hard. Get out there and support our country-bumpkin-turned-chic-class-act bombshell, boys!

(uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ just... uuuuugh!

2007-12-03T23:54:00.001-08:00

With 5 minutes and 30 seconds left in the day, you're not going to get any witty banter of pop culture proportions from me. I've spent the day fighting. Fighting with The SnowMan. Fighting with FranziaMommy. Fighting with the post man (literally, our post man). My cat, my boss, my boss's boss, that fat bitch at my gym's check-in counter, that dumb f#ck at the Koo-Koo-Roo register, my too-tight jeans and my consistently b!tchy next apartment-adjacent neighbor... Basically, anything and everything that could throw life's proverbial sh!t into my face has... And they've eaten big pieces of corn before doing it!

Sick? Maybe. But I'm sick too. Sick! Sick and tired of fighting with everyone and anyone that's recently eaten naturally produced (and yet still high-carb) roughage.

Good night to you all. Here's to a better and more witty-banter-filled tomorrow. I promise more LOL-able posts...

C-iNG (SeXY) STaRZ ~ america's next top MiCHaeL!

2007-12-02T13:45:00.000-08:00

For all y'all that are (as) obsessed with my hot ass (as I am), I will once again be a male model on TV Guide Network's Fashion Team...

PREMIERE: Sunday, November 25th at 7:00pm ET/PT
Also Airing: Sunday, November 25th at 12:00am ET/PT
Monday, November 26th at 4:00pm ET/PT
Wednesday, November 28th at 2:00pm ET/PT
Thursday, November 29th at 11:00pm ET/PT

I'm modeling Gap's new line of XL puffy vests. (And YES, they had to be pinned in the back; thank you very much!) I'm not a plus-sized model... I just play one on TV.

FLaB iN2 FaB ~ "duh!" says the gym bunny!

2007-12-01T09:50:00.000-08:00

As MSNBC tells me this morning...

It is good to bond at the bench press, as gym-goers are realizing the rewards of fitness friendships!

Uh, duh! Us gays have long used the gym to facilitate out fruity and fruit-full friendships. You don't believe me? Just check out the steam room at any local Crunch, 24 Hour, Bally's, Gold's or Equinox.

You'll see our budding (and subsequently cumming) friENDships like nobody's busin-ASS!

..........Now, where did I put my towel again?

Queer QueRies ~ MiCHaeL aNTHoNY is ISO rep!

2007-11-30T11:16:00.000-08:00

So, I'm hardcore ISO a literary agent. And as y'all can tell by my extremely, high-sterically and well-written blog, I most DEF deserve one. But with this g*d-damn writer's strike, no one of consequence is paying any mind to the further no one of consequences like my MiCHaeL aNTHoNY self.

In order for this little person to trap the attention of the big whigs, I've decided to go creative with my cover letter.

WHaT MY MaTCH.CoM PRoFiLe MiGHT SaY aBouT Me… iF I HaD a MaTCH.CoM PRoFiLE

Age: 20’s-ish / Location: Hollywood Hills Upslope / Sex: Get me my 1st job, and we’ll talk!

Title: M4Rep ~ XXXtremely Talented Writer ISO Agent 4 Long-term Relationship

Ad: I’ve been around the (writer’s) block, but me and my Bic are ready to settle down.
Looking 4 my Dream Agent 2 share lots of LOL’s and 10% with.
I like long walks in the Beverly Center and romantic low-carb dinners by energy-efficient light.
U should look like your writing specs, because I do.
Oh, and no Reality TV, please. I’m not anti-unscripted or anything, but I like my drama raw.

Too much? I'd call me... I think.

(uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ my 'lil cowardly lion!

2007-11-30T08:19:00.001-08:00

It's the After and then the Before. It's my baby, deprived of all his Persian trappings. It's the result of me taking my 1st-born for an almond-scented kitty bath and leaving him alone with the CrazyAss CatWasher Lady who looks like a South Park character on lesbionic steroids with an aversion to facial moisturizer and a penchant for men's Big&Tall flannel.

Ugh! Now I know how mid-Felicity KeRi RuSSeLL must have felt.

G@Y S@Y ~ 2 my JeSuS-SPaMMeR...!

2007-11-29T08:46:00.001-08:00

Whenever I write about JeSuS, which I admit is often (Hey, I'm a [literal] sucker for a sweaty man in a loin cloth!), I get evil and very un-Christian-y e-mails from "Anonymous". Case in just one of many points:

Anonymous said... YOUR SO CLEARLY GOING TO HELL!

To which I...

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY said... & u so clearly don't know the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE! *SNAP!*

Keep'em coming JesusSpammer! Editing an ignorant GodFreak's grammar gets me off... Almost as much as spamming out multiple e-mails to some random homo in SoCal seems to do for you!

C-iNG STaRZ (W/ SYPHiLiS) ~ ur 1 toxic mommy!

2007-11-29T08:30:00.000-08:00

A little birdie has told me (And yes, that little birdie's name is In Touch Weekly!) that this has just impregnated BRiTNeY SPeaRS with her 3rd little bundle of anti-joy!

Damn, y'all! I knew that oysters and chocolate made for good aprhodisiacs... But who'd have ever thunk that meth and KFC would, too!

Britney's not a girl. She's not yet a woman. She's a c#m-dump receptacle for trailer trash parolees in WhiteBoy FuBu! (And she's my Homo-RoleModel!)

PS: Notice yesterday's last posting. I guess the old adage proves true... Ask and you shall receive!

(NoT) C-iNG STaRZ ~ eaRTH 2 BRiT-BRiT!

2007-11-28T15:27:00.000-08:00

I haven't heard anything from, about or regarding BRiT-BRiT in well over 72-hours!

This queer is concerned! Extremely concerned!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ drop dead gorgeous!

2007-11-28T09:46:00.001-08:00

She's sexy. She's hot. She's everything we're not!

Newly crowned Miss Puerto Rico Ingrid Marie Rivera insisted in an exclusive interview Wednesday that she wasn’t just imagining the redness, itching and swelling she says she experienced during last week’s pageant in San Juan... Miss Puerto Rico insists that her outfit and makeup were poisoned.

Well, obviously whoever did the dastardly deed was not a homo! 'Cuz we all know that, if you really wanna f#ck with a beauty queen, you...

Replace her prozac with Tylenol PM
Switch out her Equal with raw (and jam-carb-packed) sugar
Ask her where she found her "adorable little last season Jimmy Choo's"
Consistently refer to her as that "really pretty-in-the-face plus-sized contestant"
F#ck her super-model boyfriend in a bathroom stall during intermission

Thank you, DeNiSe RiCHaRDS. Your Drop Dead Gorgeous self taught us oh-so well!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ going w/o cock-n-balls!

2007-11-28T08:31:00.000-08:00

The Today Show featured a story on abstinence this AM. Included was a panel of 3 20-somethings who have vowed to "just say no" to sex until they are blissfully wed. Noble?

Uh, it's not so noble when you couldn't get laid even with a rooffie and a 10-foot pole. These 3 anti-sexers were butt in the face and fug in the trunk.

Hey, putting out got me a condo in Hollywood... My True Religion wardrobe... A couple of trips around the world... And a slew of drinks at the Abbey (retailing upwards of $10,000)! Whoever thought dropping the proverbial soap could be so lucrative?!

Get to turning-your-head-and-coughing, bois!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ america's next top what's-her-face?!

2007-11-27T10:17:00.000-08:00

RIP, TWiGGY. RIP...

"America's Next Top Model" viewers will see a new face on the judging panel for the reality competition's next installment. Supermodel Paulina Porizkova has joined the CW series as a judge for Cycle 10, replacing Twiggy, who is departing the series because of scheduling conflicts.

And by "scheduling conflicts", we all know that she means crazy-ass TYRa BaNKS. Yes, folks, I have it on good authority (from the drunken and collagen-plumped lips of Ms. JaNiCe DiCKiNSoN herself), that the oPRaH-emulating Tyra has got an ego that's bigger than her Botoxed forehead...

Actually, the quote from "World's First Supermodel" Jaundice DickInMyBun was "That Tyra's one sh!tty black-ass c#nt!"

Am I the only cl-ass-y SuperModel left in the City of Superficial Angels?!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ SanFran BackFat

2007-11-27T07:29:00.001-08:00

My post-TurkeyDay week with The SnowMan in SanFran was utterly carb-o-licious! We ate, drank and danced until we proverbially dropped it like it was hot-hot-hot!

More than once, I was told via a LeatherDaddiBear that I was "adorable", to which I always responded with a dimpled "Aw, shux!" grin. But then the LeatherDaddiBear(s) would go on to tell me: "But you'd be gorgeous if you gained 40 pounds or so."

Are you kidding me?! Here in LaLa-Land, I starve-n-jog and binge-n-purge to keep my 6-pac svelte. But apparently under the GoldenGate Bridge, I can binge on the GoldenArches all I want and stay SexyBack with my bad and big ol' BackFat-self.

I guess it's true. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... But I don't wanna be "held" by anyone that's a frequent shopper at the Big&Tall.

myTunes ~ best of the week!

2007-11-27T07:19:00.000-08:00

From gay male dance divas (Yes, they do exist!) to black country rocker chicks (Yep, we've got 'em too!), here's the best for your bucks this week!

myTunes ~ 4th Week of November 2007

Naked Fame (Solar City Original Radio Mix) ~ Melissa G. & Solar City
Signed, Sealed, Delivered (Al B. Rich Radio Mix) ~ Colton Ford & Pepper Mashay
You Find a Way ~ Graham Colton
Butterflies ~ Rissi Palmer
What I Cannot Change ~ LeAnn Rimes
Tap That (John Harris Radio Edit) ~ Megan McCauley
Everything (Solar City Original Radio Mix) ~ Colton Ford
Bad for Me ~ Danielle Peck
Apologize ~ OneRepublic
When Did You Fall ~ Chris Rice
Capitol City ~ Matt Wertz
The Way You Love Me (Morel's Pink Noise Radio Edit) ~ Colton Ford

(eXTReMeLY uN)aMuSiNG ~ buy me something, DaDDi!

2007-11-23T13:27:00.000-08:00

It's Black Friday. The SnowMan won't take me shopping. I'm seeing red!

(Thank GoD I have internet on my SideKick. Thank aLLa that Bloomingdale's has online shopping. And thank BuDDHa that I know DaDDi's AMEX by heart!)

(uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ stupid MiCHaeL aNTHoNY!

2007-11-23T13:18:00.000-08:00

Please tell me I'm not the only one. Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought that a PoNY was a baby HoRSe. Y'all thought that too, right? Right?!

You see, the highlight of our Turkey Day Dinner ensued when, after explaining my male turkey vs female chicken misunderstanding, a 4-year-old began to grill me on baby animals. This bitch grilled me hard. She grilled me like a Spanish Inquisitor, and she didn't let up until my soul was third-degree charred.

I was lost. I was confused. I was like PaRiS HiLToN at a MENSA convention. She even schooled me you've-been-served-style on "mammals", these warm-blooded, oxygen-breathing, live-birthing, milk-feeding thingys. (Whatever that means!)

I brought joy to the table, in the form of oh-how-MiCHaeL-aNTHoNY-is-oh-so-stupid laughter. But no bother, for inside I was silently smiling too. You see, the laugher-at-me's-and-not-with-me's live in a trailer-esque one-bedroom in a cornfield.

I'm a 25-year-old with a condo on the Hollywood Hills upslope! Who's the idiot now, I ask?!

FaB in2 FLaB ~ HaPPY TuRKeY DaY!

2007-11-22T12:02:00.000-08:00

Wanna know the best part of Thanksgiving? The carb binge.

Wanna know the worst part of post-Thanksgiving? Returning from the safe (and surplus-ly plus-sized) haven of NorCal into the man-orexic and boi-lemic doldrums of WeHo... Only to discover that you're muffin-topping over your Sevens and that cute crush at the gym is staring at you like you're a backfat-laden leper.

F#ck it! Brown sugar sweet potatoes, here MiCHaeL aNTHoNY comes... And cums!

Happy Turkey Day, y'all!!!!!

(uGH!)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ break-fasting!

2007-11-21T11:45:00.001-08:00

Breakfast in NorCal. A low-end Dennys-esque diner called Waffles-N-Such. Me, The SnowMan, his 90+ Daddi and a randomly random Trucker at the counter-top breakfast bar.

Conversation topic: Do you think BRiTNeY's ever tried meth?

The debate is startlingly fierce... And scarily informed, via the personal experience of Mr. Trucker.

(My omlete has curly hairs in it.)

(uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ green egg (whites) & yams!

2007-11-21T11:36:00.000-08:00

It's been sadly sobering (metaphorically, of course) to learn that, apparently, the highlight of life in the cornfields of NorCal is a trip to the JC Penny's. With a gag of the throat and a twitching of the eye, however, my inner-shopper has decided to cave on his Beverly Center pretension and go, ISO a pair of True Religion (knock-offs).

The SnowMan, though, will not allow me to spelunk into the depths of outlet mall overheard florescent lighting: "There's simply too much Thanksgiving prep to be done, boi!"

So, instead of shopping 'til I'm drop-kicking my inner-high-end-designer, I'm dicing yams. 12 pounds of yams. 12 pounds of yams that resemble aborted baby finger nubbins.

Yummy!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ JeSuS is LOL-ing on his cross!

2007-11-20T20:31:00.000-08:00

Via the National Labor Committee...

A labor rights group alleged Tuesday that crucifixes sold in religious gift shops in the U.S. are produced under "horrific" conditions in a Chinese factory with more than 15-hour work days and inadequate food.

15-hour work days and inadequate food? Sounds like the life of an entertainment assistant in Helly-wood!

Oh, and as for "horrific conditions"... Try being the fat and pimply show choir baritone-homo in Roman Catholic bible school. (Oh, how I will forever hear the hushed judgemental whispers of those I'm-marrying-Jesus-because-I'm-2-F-ing-ugly-to-get-a-real-man-and-Jesus-will-pop-my-cherry-because-he's-got-that-Christian-guilt-and-is-always-good-for-a-pity-f#ck...at-least-that's-what-Peter-and-Paul-tell-us!)

(uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ am i ugly?!

2007-11-20T20:19:00.000-08:00

Just flew from LA to SanFran. Used the men's room a total of 8 times throughout my trek. (Small bladder and excessive drinker, here.) Uh... Not once did a SeNaToR foot-tap me under the stall.

Am I ugly?!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ i'm JeSSiCa SiMPSoN!

2007-11-20T20:08:00.000-08:00

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY, a gorgeous 20-something could-be GoGo-Boi, stands at the meat counter, Thanksgiving Dinner checklist in hand. He orders the dinner turkey from FaT MeaT CouNTeR LaDY (name says it all).

FaT MeaT CouNTeR LaDY
What'll I get'cha?

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY
Turkey, please.

FaT MeaT CouNTeR LaDY
(jovially joking, in the manner as all fat people jest)
And are you wanting that turkey bird male or female?

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY
(sincerely confused)

Isn't a female turkey a... chicken?

A pause so pregnant that it could be birthing triplets. Then all other FaT MeaT CouNTeR CuSToMeRS heartily LOL!

Stupid ManOrexic! Fouls are bisexual-able!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ women r slow!

2007-11-20T06:07:00.000-08:00

Oh, science! It's beautiful how thy judges us and makes blanketed statements about who we are and/or should be as a people...

The secret to why male organisms evolve faster than their female counterparts comes down to this: Males are simple creatures. In nearly all species, males seem to ramp up glitzier garbs, more graceful dance moves and more melodic warbles in a never-ending vie to woo the best mates.

I hate to say it, but it's kind of true. I mean, have you seen my "glitzy garbs", my "most graceful dance moves" and "most melodic warble"! I've got mates woo-fighting over my dead-hot ass!

After all, I am a television-famous super-model!

myTunes ~ the best of... not!

2007-11-20T06:02:00.000-08:00

The best of the week?

"Nothing!" This early Tuesday AM iTunes surfer emphatically exclaims! Just a lot of crap and crap-sandwiches dropping. Maybe, like a fungus, JoRDiN SPaRKS' new album will grow on me. But I'm not holding my breath... Or my iPod.

(eXTReMeLY uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ i h8 people!

2007-11-19T17:33:00.000-08:00

In broad daylight... In the ever-safe city of West Hollywood... In the Koo Koo Roo parking lot...

Some F-er stole my bike!!?!! Double locked to a perfectly secure made-for-bike-parking post, someone cut both of my approved bike locks and made off with my Schwinn.

I hate people! May you, Mr. BikeStealer, get stage-4 ass cancer!

And now I say goodbye to my newly firmed Biker's BubbleButt. It was good while it lasted...

-----

After a second (and still bike-less) thought, I've decided to look at the positive. Perhaps this is the BabyJesus's way of looking out for 'lil MiCHaeL aNTHoNY.

Perhaps, while navigating my two-wheeler down the twists and turns of Sunset Blvd, I was to be hit by some blonde bimbo in a topless sports car. Perhaps I was too be killed... Or, worse yet, disfigured. Perhaps this was the BabyJesus's way of saving me from death... Or, worse yet, ugliness.

Thank you, BabyJesus! Oh, how my pretty face and I adore thee! (Now use some of that collection plate money and buy this forced-into-bus-riding boy a beater! Stat!)

C-iNG STaRZ ~ not-really CeLeBRiTY APPReNTiCe!

2007-11-19T12:03:00.000-08:00

The CombOver King, DoNaLD TRuMP himself, announced his line up for the CeLeBRiTY aPPReNTiCe, and I've divided them into 4 different categories for you.

The I-Thought-U-Were-Dead's

STePHeN BaLDWiN

MaRiLu HeNNeR

The I-Wish-U-Were-Dead's

oMaRosa

GeNe SiMMoNS

"BiG PuSSY" [Shudder!]

The Who-The-F#ck-R-U's

TiTo oRTiZ

LeNoX LeWiS

CaRoL aTL

The I'd-F#ck-U-Til-U-Were-Dead's

JoHN CeNa

Can we say... Prime-time guilty pleasure in full force?!

(uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ dumb WeBMD!

2007-11-19T11:50:00.000-08:00

I feel like a-hole today. Why, you ask? For dinner last night, I had 2 orders of French fries, a plate of Cajun chicken littles, an extra-large portion of nachos with extra jalapeños, 5 Bacardi-and-diet 50/50's, 2 glasses of wine (one red and one white), 1 beer, 2 (small!) bags of potato chips and 3 slices of chocolate cake.

(Like I said, I am a supermodel... Right?)

Well, rightfully so, I now feel like post-binge a-hole! I went to WeBMD.com, just in case I actually was dying of something, you know? Just in case, right? I mean... A girl's got to watch out for her #1, you know?

So, I click on the appropriate icons and type in my symptoms; and after a tension-filled beat, I'm then told that I most likely have...

...Thyroid cancer.

Hmmm... Way to turn a hang-over headache into a stage-4 freakout, WeBMD!

(uGH!)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ supermodel backlash!

2007-11-19T09:30:00.000-08:00

Like many other supermodels, my appearance on television drew much, much attention. Most of the e-mails I received were from quaint congratulators and welcoming well-wishers. Some, however, were less than gracious; some where downright bitter and backfat-laden, no doubt.

From my flesh, my blood, my (pushing 50!) uncle, my godfather...

First, to get the bitchy comments out of the way:
· I think my IQ dropped by 20 points while waiting for your spot.
· Do you HAVE to be gay to be on the show?
· I didn’t move up to a 29” waist until I was in my mid-30s.
· Whiskers?!?!?
· I guess it is true…being on TV does add 10 pounds…

Can we say... Bitter, party of 1! You're table is not now, nor ever will be, ready!

(eWWW!)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ spoiled spam!

2007-11-18T11:47:00.000-08:00

Usually, I immediately delete all e-MaiL SPaM. But some of today’s (anti-sexually-charged) subject lines were just too good to not share with y’all…

Donkey rod rips pretty old woman’s insides!
Hot mature blonde gives juicy blow! Gets surprise!
Sexy cowgirl visits best horse hung lover in stable!
Bound, gagged and crying… For more!
Out-hole poop goes in my mouth!

[Shudder-shudder-shudder!] Who the F logs on for these things? Seriously, the government needs to be keeping a list somewhere. Seriously!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ my TiVo's twisted!

2007-11-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

You can tell a lot by a man's TiVo. The SnowMan's, for example, is a lot like him: simple, sweet, mainstream, uncomplicated and non threatening. A lot of CSI, Dancing with the Stars, male gymnastic events (LOL!) and Ugly Betty.

My pre-recorded roster, however, is somewhat more, uh, eclectic:

Sex Bunker: My 3 Years as a Human Sex Slave
My 2 Babies Share 1 Brain
4 LifeTime movies starring Valerie Bertinelli
A Tony Robbins informerical
A week's worth of Passions
25 episodes of the People's Court

I think, somewhere deep inside, I am crying out for help.

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ pussy news, version 2.0!

2007-11-17T10:28:00.000-08:00

Again… My super cute baby pussies, MaGGie and JaKe (Gyllenhall), have been fighting all AM. I noticed that, mid-attack, their tails swish like crazy. So, I do what any online addict would. I google it. Cats for Dummies tells me that that's what cats do when in distress or...

Cats might also do this when they are playing / fighting with one another but this will only happen between two dominant male cats.

But my SnowWhite Maggie is not a man! She’s a lady! A bonefide (spayed) lady! Granted, a little rough around the edges with a lot of bootstrap-scrappy vigor... But she's a "innie", tried and true, all the way!

Maybe she’s a lesbian? Hmmm… She does love her flannel night bed... And Melissa Etheridge's latest CD. Hmm...

C-iNG STaRZ ~ i'M F-iNG GoRGeouS!

2007-11-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

So, one of our Fashion Team show models was a no show, and guess who they threw into a pair of super sexy (size 29!) Genetic Denim jeans?! My f-ing hot ass!

I've gone from behind-the-camera schlepper to bonafide Hollywood model trash! (Don't worry; in true model style, I threw up in the bathroom before hitting the catwalk.)

Anyhow, you simply must watch my sexy-bitch-self strut my hot-ass-trash stuff on TV Guide Network's Fashion Team show, segment number 2, airing...

PREMIERE: Sunday, November 18th at 7:00pm ET/PT
Also Airing: Sunday, November 18th at 12:00am ET/PT
Monday, November 19th at 4:00pm ET/PT
Wednesday, November 21st at 2:00pm ET/PT
Thursday, November 22nd at 11:00pm ET/PT

Um, also... Be sure to call, e-mail and snail mail the Network. Demand more MiCHaeL aNTHoNY! Eventually, they'll have to give the masses what they want... MoRe Me!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ duh!

2007-11-16T09:25:00.000-08:00

KeLLie PiCKLeR is slated to appear on a special episode of Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? The "special" hour of TV (and, yes, I do mean special as in retarded) is entitled: Is Kellie Pickler Smarter than a 5th Grader?

I'm not even dignifying that with a response.

(uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ homo-homewrecker!

2007-11-16T08:39:00.001-08:00

I saw this on CL and I thought: "Is he talking about me and my SnowMan BF?" So, then I sent it 5 of my other hag-fags. And they all thought it was talking about them and their respective not-so better-halves.

Sadly, this could probably describe any wholesome two-some within the city walls of WeHo:

CraigsList ~ Missed Connections
West Hollywood
Title: "Loving you from afar"
Ad: "Why your B.F is all over you and you are so indifferent, detached and even rejecting him... Kind of sad, I've seen it dude... you for sure are not in love with him... anyway... I won't interfere... maybe wait?"

You'd better wait. Back off and wait, less I beat your crazy ass, Creepy Stalker Watcher.

C-iNG STaRZ ~ LiLo, b-hind bars!

2007-11-16T07:49:00.000-08:00

I was trying to think of a song of a hit LiLo song so that I could make a witty pun here; alas, no hit song came to mind, so I'll just digress, cut and paste...

Lindsay Lohan was a jailbird for just 84 minutes Thursday, becoming the latest celebrity to serve less than a day for a drunken driving offense.

This bitch is back on the road, and I can't even afford car insurance. Now, granted... I did hit a "motorcyclist"... In my "truck"... And "launch" him "some 4 feet" in the "air"... At least that's "according" to the "police report". "Whatever" "that" "means"... I should have the right to drive, just like every other cracked-out pop-slut!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ pussy(cat)!

2007-11-15T09:39:00.000-08:00

I was doing some cat-related research on Yahoo Answers this morning, RE: pussy... Well, both of my pussies actually. Mind out of the gutters, people! I'm talking about my cats!

Anyhow, this was the #1 cat query of the day:

My pussy seems to have an infection. She looks like she's been rubbed raw and is continually spitting up a white foam. Whenever someone tries to touch her, she murmurs and then howls. She is also emanating a strange smell. Can anyone tell me what is wrong with my pussy?

(Uh, is this a joke?!) My suggestion? Start with a healthy dose of penicillin and then get your broke-ass puss-puss to the free clinic!

myTunes ~ just that goooood!

2007-11-15T09:18:00.000-08:00

Some of y'all have told me that you "just love" my myTunes mixes. So, I thought I'd share my wealth of musical know-how and drop you a collection of some of my favorite unknown lyrical gems. No rhyme, no reason; just clandestine goodness...

myTunes ~ Some Unknowns that R Just that Good!

(Version ~ Chill 'n Moody)

Till You Want Me ~ Diana DeGarmo
Thinking Over ~ Dana Glover
Shut Up ~ Dirtie Blonde
Shooting Star ~ Deepest Blue
Prayer To St. Peter ~ Edwin McCain
Marry Me ~ Amanda Marshall
Let It Go ~ Debra Arlyn
In Your Own Way ~ Caleb Kane
In the Rough ~ Anna Nalick
If This Is The End ~ Faith Hill
Finding Me ~ Vertical Horizon
Complicated ~ Carolyn Dawn Johnson
Candleburn ~ Dishwalla
California ~ Darren Hayes
Broken Glass ~ Adam Richman
Beautiful In Los Angeles ~ Garrison Starr
Beautiful Disaster ~ Jon McLaughlin
Back of the Bottom Drawer ~ Chely Wright
Baby Goodbye ~ Friday Hill
Autobiography ~ Ashlee Simpson

Wow! I even managed to go sans-Britney. I told you I was versatile... At least when it comes to some things.

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ having ur meth & eating it 2!

2007-11-15T09:11:00.000-08:00

I understand the need to "save the masses from themselves" and 'just say no" to drugs, but...

A 40-year-old man was in custody Thursday after police seized a half-pound of methamphetamines with an estimated street value of some $30,000 that he tried to discard during a possible drug sale in Pomona.

Uh, OK... Now, have any of you ever been to Pomona? I have... And I dry heave at the memory. It's the armpit of the United States. It's where WalMart shoppers go to die.

If I was unlucky enough to find myself living in hellish doldrums of Pomona, I'd need half a pound of meth. Easily half a pound! And that's on a good day!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ MaRia-aaaaahhhhh!

2007-11-15T09:04:00.000-08:00

Marie Osmond announced Wednesday that her 16-year-old son has entered a rehabilitation facility but she didn't disclose the nature of his problem.

Isn't the "nature of his problem" quite obvious? He's an oSMoND! He's a little bit crazy; he's a little on coke-n-blow!

A note to MaRie oSMoND: Quit sucking from the tit of your 15-minutes of fame. Like your crazy cat-eye face lift, it just ain't pretty!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ make it work, people!

2007-11-14T21:54:00.000-08:00

There's gay...

There's really gay...

And then there's me... In my Calvin Klein PJ's, curled up in my down comfortable, spooning low-carb ice cream into my mouth... Waiting, with baited, minty fresh breath... For the premiere of Project Runway Season 4.

3 minutes and counting. Boy, are my designer panties in a bunch!

(uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ b-ing an ASSistant!

2007-11-14T10:28:00.000-08:00

There is perhaps nothing more futile and degrading than being an entry-level assistant in Hollywood...

ASS-iSTaNT FRieND: Why, I ask you, does my boss feel the need to text me in the morning and ask me to throw away his old juice from yesterday from his mini fridge when I get in? As if a) he couldn’t do it himself b) I don’t automatically do that every morning already????

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY: Just pull the trash can next to the fridge. And put up a sign that says, INSERT OLD JUICE HERE! Make sure the arrow actually points INTO the can, though, as to avoid retarded boss-related spillage.

ASS-iSTaNT FRieND: Ready for the sad part.... The trash can already IS right next to the fridge. They literally TOUCH.

Honestly, I’d rather fold shirts at the Gap… Even the XXXXXL screen-t's on the clearance table of the sale section in the outlet mall. (Shudder!)

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ help (not!) wanted!

2007-11-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

Take about an honest job posting:

Extremely fast paced production company looking for an extremely entry level full time office production assistant. College degree required, pref with honors from a top 10. Basic duties include general clerical duties (both mental and manual), runs, and assisting the production coordinator as instructed. Please note that with this coordinator, you must have thick, thick, thick skin. Good work ethic is a must; we would also like someone that is un-medicated and/or not violent. Mac computers skills are a PLUS; we’d also like someone that can use a table saw. Ideally, the candidate would be a “high school techie type” person who has nights, weekends and holidays free. Extremely free.

And just how much does this bottom-of-the-rung gem pay? A whopping $8.45/hour, plus approved mileage and "all-you-can-drink" Starbucks.

Keep your high-falutin cup-o-joe, "Extremely Fast Paced Production" Company! No venti sugar-free extra-hot breve caramel macchiato will get me working for your Beelzebub of a production coordinator!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ u ain't no KeLLY!

2007-11-14T09:51:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else see crazy-ass KaTHie Lee GiFFoRD on the Today Show? I think aNN CuRRY is about three seconds away from bashing her in the not-pulled-tight-enough face! "Look at me! Look at me! I'm 72 and still spunky and sexy!" Yeah, Kathie, we get it. You're not dead... Yet. Now be a good (old) girl, shut your jowels and bend over for KeLLY RiPa.

And does anyone know why Kathie's female fat sacks are the size of steroidal pumpkins?

Addendum: Let's play a a game. Let's count how many times Kathie says "Since I left the show...". So far, we are at 7. (Man, is Curry looking angry...!)

FLaB iN2 FaB ~ run, AMiSH, run!

2007-11-14T09:41:00.000-08:00

So, last night during my 6-mile jog... (Don't gasp! How else do you think I keep myself in my size 29-to-31-inch waste, depending-on-the-intensity-of-my-most-recent-post-carb-day-bloating? After a soon-to-feel-guilty call to Papa John's, I'm like KaTie HoLMeS at the freakin' NYC marathon. But I digress...)

Anyhow, during my arduous run, I went to pass a slow-moving jogger. And as I came up past the chugging-and-tubby giggler, I noticed something in his hand. Not a Nano. Not an old school iPod. Not even a portable CD player... But a handheld cassette player! A handheld cassette player!? Can you believe that?

Does WHaM have a new single that I don't know about?

C-iNG STaRZ ~ boy, oh, BoY GeoRGE!

2007-11-13T11:39:00.001-08:00

Do we really want to hurt BoY GeoRGE? No. No, we do not. Boy George seems dead set on hurting himself (and all other cute homos within his 5 mile radius). So reports The Sun...

Musician Boy George was charged Tuesday with falsely imprisoning a 28-year-old man... It is reported in April that a Norwegian man, Auden Karlsen, 28, claimed he was chained and threatened at George's London flat, where he had gone as a photo model.

Going to photo model? In a stranger's flat? Please! That's about as smart as getting in the back of a tinted-window van with a hoodie wearing, handlebar moustache sporting, dark glasses toting creepazoid!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ the starz really are blind!

2007-11-13T09:37:00.000-08:00

Paris Hilton is being praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India.

Binge drinking elephants? All I've got to say is... Takes 1 to know 1!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ wet dream, soccer-style!

2007-11-13T07:53:00.000-08:00

David Beckham has signed on to be the new face of the Emporio Armani underwear campaign.

There is a GoD. And he is a good god... And most DEF a gay god! Thank you, GaY-JeSuS!!!

myTunes ~ this music freak's best of the week!

2007-11-13T07:16:00.000-08:00

I'm up early this Tuesday AM, and my debit card is uploading my iPod. And in this homo's opinion, these tunes are iTunes's best for the week.

myTunes ~ Best of the Week!

Alone ~ Céline Dion
Realize ~ Colbie Caillat
This Time ~ Céline Dion
Gravity ~ Sara Bareilles
Battle ~ Colbie Caillat
Gimme More (Paul Oakenfold Radio Mix) ~ Britney Spears
Nothin' 'Bout Memphis ~ Trisha Yearwood
Skies of L.A. ~ Céline Dion
Brave ~ Jennifer Lopez
Gimme More (Paul van Dyk Club Mix) [Radio Edit] ~ Britney Spears

Remember... This music lover rapes his Visa, so you don't have to! Now, get downloading!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ CHuCK!

2007-11-12T21:48:00.000-08:00

On tonight's episode of (my new favorite show) CHuCK:

CHEERS to the producers for using the entire BRiTNeY's "ToXiC" song in a kick-ass spy sequence.

JEERS to the director for only showing the sister's super hot boyfriend with his shirt off 3x's.

Come on! Give the gays what they want!! Britney and multiple viewings of hot blonde muscle-boi meat pecs!!!

myTunes ~ KaNYe'S MoMMY

2007-11-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

My good friend is KaNYe WeST's publicist. News of his mother's passing recently came to full frontal media light, and I just wanted to share the press statement, via my friend at Rogers & Cowan, with all of y'all...

Kanye West, his family and friends would like to thank everyone for the outpouring of support and kind words that have come in from across the country since the death of his mother, Dr. Donda West.

After working in higher education for 31 years, Dr. Donda West and Kanye West co-founded the Kanye West Foundation with the mission of helping to combat the severe dropout problem in high schools across the country. The first and signature initiative of the Kanye West Foundation is Loop Dreams. Designed to capitalize on students existing interest in hip-hop, Loop Dreams challenges students to learn more about what’s behind hip-hop culture in order to help them develop skills, express themselves creatively and be empowered.

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made in Dr. West's name to the Kanye West Foundation/Loop Dreams Teacher Training Institute. Those donations can be made by visiting the Foundation’s website, www.KanyeWestFoundation.org or by mail at Kanye West Foundation, 8560 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90069.

She was a super-smart lady, and she did many great things in her life; she will be missed...

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ table for 1, please!

2007-11-12T09:24:00.000-08:00

It's a fact of life; the grass always seems a bit greener on the other side. Us coupled queers sometimes look at the singles and wonder What If...? And the singular homosexuals often look at us and think I want that! But whatever side of the dating fence you're on, there are some inner-yearnings that should be kept to one's self. Case in CraigsList point...

CraigsList ~ M4M
Missed Connections ~ San Fernando Valley
Title: "Mr. Lonely wants love!"
Ad: "I want a boyfriend. A serious, honest to goodness boyfriend with whom I can do relationship type things. Things like going to the movies on a whim or go to McDonald's just cuz. Calling him in the middle of the day to see how things are. Cuddling. And "sex" of course, when we are both "ready". Future Boyfriend where are you?"

Want to get a boyfriend, Mr. Lonely?

Stop calling yourself Mr. Lonely. It reeks of self pity... And not in the sexy self-deprecating way.
Log off of CraigsList list.
Move out of LA.
Lose some weight. (It's obvious that you are obese, as only fatties got to McDonald's "just cuz".)
Lose the finger quotes on "ready" and "sex". Uh, what are you? A lesbian? You're a homo; you're born ready for sex! So lay down, "honest to goodness" shut up and bite the pillow.

Mr. Future Boyfriend is a mere donkey-punch away Mr. Lonely. Trust, MiCHaeL aNTHoNY!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ baby's got HaSSeLBeCK

2007-11-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth Hasselbeck and husband, Tim, have called a press conference today to reveal the name of their newborn son...

I'm putting my money on BeeLZeBuB. Maybe just SaTaN or 666 for short.

And a press conference? Are you kidding me? Just send the Christian Science Monitor a "Look at the Soon-to-be Painfully Conservative Bundle of Joy that the Baby Jesus's Stork Dropped in our Rich, White WASP-y Laps" card and be done with it.

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ homo-mathematics

2007-11-11T11:53:00.000-08:00

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY is throwing a house party; for said party, he purchases 36 bottles of wine, 3 handles of vodka, 4 handles of Bacardi, 4 24-packs of beer, as well as 25 2-liter mixers. He also picks up a total of 12 dessert platters, 3 cheese/meat/cracker spreads, 4 chip and dip concoctions, 3 2-tiered designer birthday cakes, 2 veggie trays and 4 finger-food-y bowls. Throughout the night, about 100 party-goers sashay in and out of condo #101: 90 gay men from Crunch, 5 gay men with no discernible gym affiliation (ew!), 4 hetero women, 1 "straight" (yeah, right!) man and 0 lezbos. What is the ratio of liquor to food that MiCHaeL aNTHoNY will be left with after his in-home last-call?

The answer? A whoppingly improbable = 0/794327927497321274973299342987! Apparently gay gym rats like to drink their intoxicating party snacks, not ingest their high-carb-ery. So now I'm stuck with no booze and a fridgeful of processed sugar (aka: white death) goodness.

Next math problem? How many miles of up-the-Hollywood-Hills jogging will it take MiCHaeL aNTHoNY to burn the 2 (OK, I lied... 4) pieces of carrot cake he just gorged on this morning...??

The answer? Fuck it! I'm moving to Silverlake!!!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ we like 2 party!

2007-11-10T10:28:00.000-08:00

Tonight, we're gonna party like everything at Bloomie's is on sale for $19.99... Or something like that.

It's my BFF's B-Day and being the homo-homemaker that I am, I'm throwing an old fashion college house party. Needless to say, The SnowMan is on edge. You see, in my bloodshot eyes, a good party involves a handle of Taka vodka, a trip to the 99-cent store and maybe a GoGo-Slut named Ricardo. But The SnowMan thinks all parties should be fully catered, bartend-ed and tricked out to the (sixty)-9's. (Yeah, if he doesn't stop bitching about my not picking up a HoneyBaked ham, he's never pork my medium rare ass again!)

Needless to say, I'm stoked. I've got a liter of Bacardi with my name on... And a bunch of A-Gays on their way in 9 hours and 27 minutes!

What am I going to (not) wear?!

FaB in2 FLaB ~ FaTTY FaT FaT FaT... gonna have a heart attack!

2007-11-09T17:16:00.000-08:00

I just went shopping for a belt, and the sizing tag read:

One Size Fits Most

Most? Most?! Most! Listen, Momsies and Popsies, stop super-sizing your Offsprings' (not-so) happy meals. You're giving your Babies bitch-tits and back-fat!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ stalk this!

2007-11-09T10:05:00.000-08:00

Some might call it stalking. Others might call it bunny-boiling. Me? I call it love...

A tale of online love inspired usually cynical New Yorkers this week to help a young man find the girl of his dreams after he spotted her on a crowded subway train. For Web designer Patrick Moberg, 21, from Brooklyn, it was love at first sight when he locked eyes with a rosy-cheeked woman while riding in Manhattan on Sunday night. She was writing in her journal.
The train was so full that he lost her in the crowd when they both got off, so he set up a Web site dedicated to finding the mystery woman — nygirlofmydreams.com.

On Tuesday night a friend of the woman contacted him and sent him a picture so he could confirm her identity. "Found Her! Seriously!" a notice on his Web site said.

"We've been put in touch with one another and we'll see what happens."

Awwww! How sweet! It's almost as sweet as that guy that designed: BathHouseDirtySanchezerOfMyWetDreams.Org!

G@Y S@Y ~ shut that sac-relig mouth!

2007-11-09T09:53:00.000-08:00

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY: What's up?

Extremely Feminine & Perpetually Exasperated CoHomoWorker: Uh... I'm curing anus cancer, saving Brit's babies and carrying that goddamn cross for Jesus again. Man, that skinny bitch is one lazy bastard!

Hmmm... I wonder if CoHomoWorker will still be such a witty wordsmith in the fiery pits of HeLL.

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ the eMPLoYee who called 9-1-1!

2007-11-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Our company owns one of the largest buildings in downtown Hollywood, 7 stories of metal, glass and construction that overlook the masestic splendor that is Tinsel Town. Impressive, eh? Not when the building is located off of what the LAPD so colorfully refer to as "CRaCK aLLeY".

For all of you that do not have a smack-running-through-my-veins addiction and have yet to visit the Alley de Crack, let me paint a picture: the overwhelming smell of urine and old soda pop baked into the pavement, broken bottles and old needles strewn about, homeless crazies putting on disturbing displays of insanity for people who aren't really there, even the occasional dead animal and/or human steam pile. My words can't do it justice; it's really a Hollywood gem that every SoCal tourist must experience on their own.

Well, needless to say, when they moved us in, the more discerning employees raised some concerned and un-Botoxed eyebrows. Ala: What am I to do if I am raped, pillaged and/or shot while walking down Crack Alley? Management told us, in an ever-so jovial e-mail: Y'all have nothing to worry about.

But then this AM, a company-wide e-mail was sent out... with High Importance, no less...

We recognize that working in a dynamic city like Hollywood can present a number of challenges, and even more opportunities in a city where the sidewalks themselves are a tourist destination. Walking between our buildings can be an experience, with the road construction, homeless people, sidewalk vendors, cross walk re-paintings, tourists, buses and limos. This diversity makes our workplace interesting and we offer the following reminders.

Should you ever feel that you are in immediate jeopardy, dial 9-1-1 and immediately protect yourself. Actions could include seeking assistance inside a business, going to a local police station or asking other people in the area for help. The company does not, however, condone the use of weaponry, violence and/or lethal force in protecting oneself.

Weaponry, violence and/or lethal force?! So what you're say is that if a crazy person asks me for a dollar, I can't drop kick them in the stomach, stab them in the throat with my antique 1829 fighting sabre and make them bite the curb?!

Damnit! My afternoon power-walk is never going to be the same again!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ tar-gay!

2007-11-08T22:43:00.000-08:00

CNBC.com: Target pulls Manhunt video game from store shelves.

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY: In response, Manhunt.net pulls all profiles of men that shop at Target.

(OK, maybe it's just the 3 Bacardi/diets in me... But I thought that was LOL hi-sterical!)

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ desperate blog-bois!

2007-11-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

If it blogs like desperation. And reads like desperation. Then it's definitely desperation:

CraigsList ~ Missed Connections
The Valley
Ad: "butter my breadSTICK"
Post: "I saw a bunch of really cute boys (high school-ish, maybe?) at Olive garden yesterday! WOW! Weirded me out, lol! But kinda got me… happy! If you were one of em, hit me back with a pic... I was the college-age-looking guy parked out front in the 1997 hatchback w/a dark button up Izod shirt."

A 1997 hatchback? An Izod shirt? Now I know where all the cool kids* are hanging out... The Olive Garden parking lot!

*And just to clarify, by cool kids*, I do mean old sex-offender-list-registrees who sit in their decade old crap-mobiles in mall parking lots and leer at underage meat while gorging on processed carbs and sweating through their JCPenny-wear. Hotness!!

myTunes ~ this week's best!

2007-11-08T10:34:00.000-08:00

Who should you be dropping your 99-cents on this week?

myTunes ~ Best of November's 1st Week!

Hate That I Love You ~ Rihanna
Brave ~ Idina Menzel
Consider Me Gone ~ Hilary McRae
In My Arms (Bronleewe & Bose Radio Edit) ~ Plumb
Got to Be a Love ~ Greyboy
Angel In Chelsea ~ Randi Driscol
Piece of Me ~ Britney Spears
Radar ~ Britney Spears
Toy Soldier ~ Britney Spears
Freakshow ~ Britney Spears

A little heavy on the Brit, I admit. But like fine wine and even finer cheeses, Brit's flow (ew!) only gets better with time!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ i c o'BRieN p!

2007-11-08T10:29:00.000-08:00

I've heard about priests stalking 12-year-old boys. But a middle-aged, six-foot-five red head? Jesus say what?!

A priest has been arrested on charges of stalking late-night talk-show host Conan O'Brien by writing him threatening notes on parish letterhead, contacting his parents and showing up at his studio, prosecutors said Wednesday. The Rev. David Ajemian, a priest in the Archdiocese of Boston, was arrested last week while trying to enter a taping session of NBC's "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" at New York's Rockefeller Plaza.

The FaTHeR, the SoN and CoNaN o'BRieN. Talk about an LOL-Trinity!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ hey, nose job!

2007-11-07T10:51:00.000-08:00

MSN.com's #1 entertainment story of the day? Is aSHLee SiMPSoN engaged?

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY's response? Does anyone f#cking care?!

I think not, MSN.com. I think not.

(eWWW!)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ damn, u RiMJoB!

2007-11-07T07:47:00.000-08:00

While clubbing at the (in)famous Silverlake RimJob...

Me: Pouding back liquid Bacardi like I'm a Super Soaker 5,000.

Me: Dancing on a boxes for nickles, dimes and even a few dollar bill$

Me: Grabbing the mesh netting of the DJ cage and doing my sexiest "Britney stuck in a spider web" wiggle and shake

Me: Being told by the bartender: "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.... Uh, but you should probably go home, you Hot Mess."

Me: ....[Uh?????]...

Me: ....[Whaaaaat?!]...

Me: BlackOut... As dark and as beautiful as Brit Brit's new CD.

Me: Violently jarred by this AM's 7:25 alarm clock. Literally, all limbs hurting like I'm a spit-in-the-join to grease-the-wheel 50+ fat chick in a floral print moo-moo and a south-by-southwest midwest trailer with a fast food addiction and a Marlboro death wish.

I'm bringing SexyBack (while ChokingBack vomit)...!!

(oH-So uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ 2 write or not 2 write!

2007-11-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

To date, 4 of my friends in television production have been informed that "their services as an employee will no longer be needed until the rectification of the strike". And now my multiple upon multiple of other production-related friends are really starting to sweat...

Production of the hit show "Desperate Housewives" and at least six sitcoms filmed before live audiences will be halted as a result of the writers strike — developments that raised the stakes Tuesday in the walkout targeting movie studios and TV networks... Other sitcoms that will stop the cameras include "Back to You," starring Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton, which will not return from a planned hiatus, said Chris Alexander, a spokesman for 20th Century Fox Television. Star Julia Louis-Dreyfus said production has also stopped on her CBS show, "The New Adventures of Old Christine." In addition, the sitcoms "Til Death," which airs on Fox, and "Rules of Engagement," "Two and a Half Men" and "The Big Bang Theory," all on CBS, will also end filming.

I have just one question... If the pen is mightier than the sword, why can't we all just get along?!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ the eDDie SToNe-age!

2007-11-06T14:39:00.001-08:00

I should be disgusted... And yet I am strangely excited...

CraigsList ~ Free Stuff
West LA
Title: "Free Dildo"
Ad: "I have a 10-inch Eddie Stone dildo that is probably about 5 years old. It also has a built in charger and a remote. When I plugged it in (after almost a year in the closet), it still turned on. I am not sure of the condition of the remote. Also, the batteries are obviously not included. But, it's free. If interested, let me know and we can arrange a time for pick-up. I am located near Pico-Robertson Area."

C-iNG STaRZ ~ queenie queen!

2007-11-05T23:40:00.000-08:00

Talk about a PiTY F#CK...

At the age of 81, Queen Elizabeth on Monday joined models Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell on Vogue Magazine's list of the world's most glamorous women.

Whaaaaat?! I've seen more "glamorous" and "world"-ly "women" in the last-call bathroom stalls of Mickeys and Rage! Wooooord!

C-iNG (NoT-So) STaRZ ~ 4 the luv of DiNa!

2007-11-05T22:41:00.000-08:00

DiNa LoHaN is MSN.com's #1 A-List "People" search.

God, un-help us all! (We deserve to die!)

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ mutiple choice crazy!

2007-11-05T09:45:00.001-08:00

My childhood Chicago BFF (*said name withheld due to legal confidentiality agreement) is in town. He's staying with us while we works his way into the top echelon of a new reality show. Now, I can't say much about the show due the confidentiality clause he signed. Let's just say that it looks like (*said network withheld due to legal confidentiality agreement) is having their very own So You Think You Might Wanna Maybe Be a Dancer with the Stars Idol Survivor this summer.

Well, because my bud is getting a lot of camera time, they made him undergo a psychological examination, which is standard for all reality show contestants. (Uh, yeah... We see how sane all those bitches are, right?)

I just thought some of his multiple question choices were really worth sharing. At least the voices in my head told me to share them with y'all:

True or False:

I often feel an intense yet fleeting urge to harm others.
Mechanic magazines are of interest to me.
If friends knew my deepest sexual fantasies, they would no longer be my friends.
As a child, I killed two or more wild animals.
I often drive fast for no reason at all, even if it may be unsafe or unwise.
In the past, I have felt "too ugly to live".
In times of extreme pressure, I have forgotten or refused to take my medicine.

5 out of 7 for MiCHaeL aNTHoNY? That's a 71.4%, and that ain't bad! I'm Class C Crazy!! I'd make for excellent reality television!!!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ run, KaTie! Run!

2007-11-05T09:40:00.000-08:00

Katie Holmes was among the tens of thousands of runners participating in Sunday's New York City Marathon, finishing the race in 5 hours, 29 minutes and 58 seconds.

Uh... Bitch ain't running a marathon. Bitch is running away from the aliens, crazy CRuiSE and the SuRi with a fringe on top. Run, KaTie... Run!

C-iNG STaRZ ~ 2 wrongs don't make a write!

2007-11-03T14:41:00.000-07:00

Unless you've been living under a pop culture rock, I'm sure you, by now, know...

The Writers Guild of America has announced that its 12,000 members will go on strike Monday morning against studios and networks.

As a struggling writer myself, here's my 2 cents... Give the writers that extra 4-cents a DVD. And give them what's deserved when it comes to online and internet credit, cash and/or otherwise. If the Friends can make $1,000,000 an episode, there's no reason that the writers, the brains behind the bread and butter of the show, shouldn't get a small sliver of the studio dough. The writers deserve their (low-carb) cake, and they deserve to eat it too!

PS: To all of my friends who will soon find themselves out of a job in the coming weeks... GLaC-BiD is always hiring. And sadly, it probably pays as well as being a studio assistant.

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ text-trash!

2007-11-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

When AlphaAlchie usually texts me in the wee hours of the AM, the resulting iPhone message is typically beyond comprehension. But last night's little ditty was DEF worth a (sobering) share...

Help! I drinkn alonee in gas statn bathrom. I 2 ugly kids awayfrm b ing Brit!

I couldn't have slurred it better myself!

(eWWW!)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ earn that merit badge!

2007-11-02T13:57:00.001-07:00

Like the priesthood, the Boy Scouts supposedly refuse to let us gays play with them. But occasionally, one seems to slip through the cracks...

The LAPD and the Boy Scouts of America may not be held liable for alleged sexual abuse of teenage boys by a former police chief, the California Supreme Court ruled unanimously Thursday. The state high court said the alleged victims had failed to show that the LAPD and the scouting group knew or should have known that retired Deputy Police Chief David Kalish had committed sexual misconduct with other minors before he was accused by the teenagers.

Teenage Boy Scouts and a Deputy Police Cheif, eh? I don't know about you, but that sure sounds like a Falcon video to me!

myTunes ~ BRiT's breaking the bank!

2007-11-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

According to recently released BRiT vs K.FeD(eX) court documents...

The pop princess is a big spender. Court papers released Thursday in Britney Spears' custody dispute with Kevin Federline show she spends lavishly on clothes and entertainment, and doesn't save or invest any of her roughly $737,000 monthly income. Spears' monthly expenses include $49,267 in mortgage for two houses, $16,000 for clothes and $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation, according to her financial declaration. Although she's often photographed eating fast food, Spears declares she spends about $4,758 per month dining out. Meanwhile, she spends zero on education, savings and investments and gives $500 a month in charitable contributions, the documents said.

SuZie OrMaN is going to kick your ever-expanding ass, BRiT! But if she doesn't, I will. Let's do the math, shall we? (Don't be nervous, BRiT. I promise to keep it at a 3rd grade level...)

$737,000 monthly income (thanks to losers like my who support all of your "artistic endeavors") - $49,267 in mortgage for two houses (which I hear look and smell like glorified trailers) - $16,000 for clothes (aka: stripper-wear and sweatpants) - $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation (otherwise known as crack, smack and meth) - $4,758 per month dining out (on liquid lunches and pills) - $500 a month in charitable contributions (like dropping dimes in the McDonald's Leave-A-Penny/Take-A-Penny jar) = Still @bout $500,000 ways to kill herself, slowly and lavishly!

The moral of this about-to-be-bankrupt story, QueerKiddies? Apparently, money does not buy happiness... But it does buy a lot of crazy!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ berry-aholics!

2007-11-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

For all of y'all that don't know about WeHo on Halloween Eve, I really don't know how to describe it to you. Picture this: Santa Monica Blvd closed for a 2 mile strech. Over 300,000 drunk people, all in the most ostentatious costumes you've ever seen. Straight, gay, bi and all things in between. It's like a gay pride parade on Bourbon street on extra-strength crack, sniffing extra-strong poppers! Needless to say, the evening of October 31st was an utter blast!

Now, myself and The SnowMan forwent dressing up. Instead, we walked the Blvd in tight tank tops and watched as all of the other gays, guys and gals paraded by. Freaky, fun, crude and creative, the costumes alone were well worth the packed-like-sardines walk.

I just had to share a picture of our friends John & John. (I know... John & John; how homo-cute!) They win for most creative, at least in this gay's book!

John & John: If you haven't experienced Pinkberry, then you probably have no idea why we picked a yogurt theme for this year's Halloween costumes. Pinkberry is the newest thing in L.A....and it is quickly spreading across the country. In fact, it has begun such a yogurt frenzy here in WeHo, we have three additional copycat yogurt stores that have popped up in our neighborhood. Pinkberry seems well on its way to becoming the new Starbucks, so of course we had to comment in costume. Addicts call it "Crackberry"...we call it comedy.

C-iNG (WaNNa-B) STaRZ ~ out-of-work actor say what?!

2007-11-01T14:53:00.000-07:00

Today, we are holding auditions for our new entertainment news show, and let me just say... There ain't a RYaN SeaCReST in the bunch.

Now, while some of these (I-really-am-a-starving-actor-but-I'll-settle-for-any-crappy-hosting-job!) auditionees are pretty (enough), intelligent (adjacent) and (kind of) personable, I'm not seeing the X-Factor. Hell, I'm not even seeing a D-List Factor.

But you never know who might walk through those studio doors, right? After all, that is the magic of Hollyweird, eh? 10 (average-ish) men down; 7 more to go. I'll let you know if my Knight in Hugo Boss armor saunters in... But I'm not holding my minty fresh breath!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ my ass LaNCe BaSS!

2007-11-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

Why can't today's homos just glitter and be gay? It's seems like, now-a-days, the boy-queers have got to stick the lady-pink a few times before really teaming up. Case in point...

Lance Bass, who is openly gay, says he once married a girlfriend in Las Vegas. "People do stupid things in the heat of the moment," the 28-year-old singer told E! News in an article published Tuesday on its Web site. "I've been in Vegas where I've gotten married for like five minutes, but no one talks about it, though." Bass, who was part of the boy band 'N Sync, says he got hitched in "1999 or 2000," and the bride was "just a friend."

LaNCe BaSS as Bi, Bi, Bi? My bubble-butted ass! I guess what happens in Vegas (Bass's heterosexuality, included) most DEF stays in Vegas!

(aNTi)myTunes ~ K-F-WHaT?!

2007-10-31T23:46:00.000-07:00

When RYaN SeaCreST asked how she celebrated the release of her CD, BRiTNeY's response (heard be millions of SoCal morning commuters via KIIS FM radio) was simple...

"Nothing special. I just sat home... Watched some movies... Had fried chicken..."

High carb, high fat, high sedentary and just plain high! Yeah, BritBrit... Classy!

(NoT So) C-iNG STaRZ ~ the (in)famous ax!

2007-10-31T13:32:00.001-07:00

And now it's time...
To say goodbye...
To to my foray in TV!

Yes, folk, TV Guide Network's WaTCH THiS taped its last tape this afternoon. For all of you Mo's-in-the-Unknown, Watch This is (or, rather, was) our version of E!'s TaLK SouP, only bit more G-rated and with a lot more celebrity power. JoHN HeNSoN of (ironically) Talk Soup and NiKKi BoYeR of TLC are (or, rather, were) our lovable hosts.

I'll miss y'all dearly! Here's to a swift and short stay in the unemployment line!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ all RiMMeD out!

2007-10-31T12:11:00.000-07:00

Last night, MJ's held its weekly RimJob... And, boy, is my man-pink tired! It was, of all things, a BRiTNeY CD release party, and this homo-in-the-know sashayed and dance-kicked until dawn... And drank twice as nicely. (Oy, says my liver! Oy!)

Wednesday AM has left me looking like 10-miles of bad road! But when you're as pretty as the PCH, bad road can never really be that bad, right?

Here's to pounding Tylenol and Evian! (Again, with the liver's Oy!)

G@Y S@Y ~ 1 nite in Paris!

2007-10-30T21:20:00.000-07:00

I hate to kick a horse when she's down... But, man, do I love LOL-ing at a bitch when she's stupid!

So says Paris Hilton: "I know Rwanda went through a lot of traumatic experiences, and I feel like if I go there, I can help save some people's lives."

And how, exactly, does Ms. Hilton plan on saving the, as she calls them, "Rwandinians"? I'm not exactly sure... But if it was up to me (and it always is), I'd suggest that Paris pass out copies of her CD, showing all those 3rd-worlders that, yes, tragedies far worse than their current state of affairs do exist in this crazy, crazy world.

PS: Just for the record, I do own (not one but) two copies of Paris's CD. Yeah, I hate myself too!

aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ 3 reasons 2 :-) 4 real!

2007-10-30T16:54:00.000-07:00

SPRiNT has decided to stop being such a F#CKeR and they issued me a cell phone for the sweet price of $34, all inclusive. Thank you, Sprint! I won't blog-bash you any longer, less my newbie phone gets here in one piece.
CaRMaX bought my truck... for a lot of ca$h. My piece-o-shit Ford is free and clear of the MiCHaeL aNTHoNY name, and I'm ready, willing and able to get a new set of wheels! As god as my queer-witness, I'll never walk the streets of Hollywood again!
BlackOut, the new BRiT CD. It's just that guilty-pleasure good! Really!

(SaDLY uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ told ya' so!

2007-10-30T14:08:00.000-07:00

As y'all long know, I've been an avid reader of the CraigsList. The cool, the quirky, the just plain creepy... I've blog-logged it all. But this is just sad:

A 19-year-old man suspected of killing a woman who answered an online ad for a baby sitter was charged Tuesday with second-degree murder. Michael John Anderson is accused of shooting Katherine Ann Olson in the back at his home in suburban Savage, according to the criminal complaint filed in Scott County District Court. Olson had gone to Anderson's home Thursday to inquire about a baby-sitting job she had seen advertised on the popular Internet bulletin board Craigslist, authorities said.

myTunes ~ best of 10/30/07

2007-10-30T09:24:00.001-07:00

So, BritBrit dropped... And dropped hard! But more on that later. First, let me get all of y'all Happy iTunes-ers your, at least for this gay-DJ's $1, top downloads for the week!

myTunes ~ The Best of 10/30/07

Better (Joe Baldridge Mix) ~ Plumb
Ooh Ooh Baby ~ Britney Spears
He Said She Said [Von Doom Radio Edit] ~ Ashley Tisdale
Best Days ~ Graham Colton
Hot As Ice ~ Britney Spears

GLaC-BiD turns 2-HuNDReD!

2007-10-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

Now 200 posts strong...!

GLaC-BiD... It ain't your SuGaR DaDDi's blog!